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Pay Attention to ATTENTION
- July 21, 2008
The ability to sustain concentration is crucial to success in Life. There are two aspects to attention when it comes to helping your children:
one has to do with giving them sufficient attention and the other concerns helping them learn to pay attention.
Sometimes there is a lack of attention on the parent’s part, such as a mom or dad being buried in their computer and only looking up to complain if their child gets unruly and disturbs them. That is the classic formula for inadvertently encouraging behaviour you do not want. A much better strategy is to catch your child being good. Admire something the child has drawn or built or compliment them on working quietly or on finishing some of their homework. Showing interest in something they are doing can make them feel important. Try reading to your child, or getting down on the floor and building something with them, or listening attentively when they talk about something of interest to them, even if you do not think Yugioh cards are fascinating.
At home parents all need a little relief but letting the television or video games keep your child occupied can have negative consequences in the long run, especially if the content is violent. Try substituting the newer brain friendly games, like Brain Age or Wii. Or go low tech and find time to play a game of cards or a board game. That interaction can teach so much more, including how to be a good loser and how to wait your turn. These activities are also great for number awareness and math skills; for example, learning addition facts when throwing dice. Strategies and planning are learned in classic games like Monopoly and Clue. If playing something like chess, handicap yourself by playing without your queen so your child has a better chance of giving you a good game.
With respect to helping your child pay attention, remember that if you want them to listen you must first catch their attention. Rather than calling five times from the next room, go to them and make eye contact: connect before you direct. If a child has Attention Deficit Disorder the challenges are greater. They will show attention at the two extremes, the so-called “hunter mind” style. They scan their environment for something to go after, something of interest. Teachers call this ‘distractible’. Or they go into hyper-focus when after something they want or engaged in something they like to do (glued to the television). Hyperfocus also means they are very, very persistent when after something. You will hear of nothing else until they get it, or until you get very firm that it is not possible.
Many tips for helping are available in The A.D.D. Book written by paediatrician Bill Sears and myself. Available at the library or in bookstores, it contains dietary advice and tips for setting up for success at school. There are chapters on medications and on neurofeedback. Neurofeedback (also called EEG biofeedback) allows a person to train their brain so they learn what concentration feels like. Changes in the EEG have been shown in numerous research studies to be accompanied by changes in behaviour: reduced ADHD symptoms, increased IQ, and better academic performance. This non-medication approach worked for my own son, who was in high school before I discovered it. What a relief to us both when I could stop hovering and he could work independently, even on boring things. With your own child you have no choice but to pay attention and keep looking for solutions.
By Lynda Thompson, Ph.D., C.Psych.
Co-Author of The A.D.D. Book
The ADD Centre
Mississauga, ON
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